My favorite sports to watch is probably skateboarding. The way the boards flip is almost artistic to me. The injuries are just an added bonus to the equations. Not saying I love when people get hurt but I do love when something builds tension and it leads to either relief or more tension, that’s exactly what happens when you watch a man in his mid 30’s approaching a 30 step staircase on a 2 x 4 with four wheels at top speed. The risk always 100% outweighs the reward there too. It’s not like once you land a kickflip down those stairs the mayor comes out of a sewer grate and shakes your hand. You still get hurt but your friend just goes “SICK” and you might make it into a magazine for a week.

So I like extreme sports because of that. Their risk outweighs their reward but they definitely don’t care about that and they hurt themselves so easily in public. It’s like skateboarding meets slapstick comedy. I don’t usually watch football, but my in-laws definitely do. I don’t enjoy it all that much because quite frankly, I don’t understand it. But I just mirror the reactions of my in laws to try to appear as if I know. If they cheer, I cheer. If my father in law gets up and yells at the TV I get up and go “YEAH, WHAT HE SAID” like an early 90’s bully’s cronies. If my father in law even goes to the bathroom, I’m standing right outside the door hearing the water in there yelling “ME TOO” while doing the pee pee dance. I mirror everything, because I want them to think I’m in the loop! I want em to be like “yeah this guy knows what the heck is goin on!” Without me actually knowing what the eff is actually going on.” It’s a win-win situation. I can be clear of that football jargon in my headspace and they can tell my wife “You should bring your husband around more, he really gets us.”