I could become a famous actor, reach spiritual enlightenment, win strongest man in the world and raise a happy and healthy family of 5 who are all creative and industrious and STILL despite all that, I’d STILL not be capable of putting away the pile of laundry on my bed. Sometimes I go to sleep under the weight of my wardrobe and pretend I own a weighted blanket to sleep under. I bet even Gary V, one of the most productive people in the world still finds missing socks in his pillow case because he refuses to put that clothes away.

French enlightenment satirist, Voltaire, says that in order to live a good life, we must tend to our own garden and become self responsible for things we can actively change/control, a viewpoint with which I completely agree. I 100% agree with it… Until, my fancy dryer machine plays a little song to let me know the clothes are done. Then THAT is the point where I need to hire someone like my wife for some outsourced garden care. It’s always on my to-do lists. Putting away laundry is on my to-do list so often that it’s basically a email signature block at this point. I should sign off every email from now on going “sincerely, I’m never going to put these socks away.”

I don’t know what it would take for me to finish the task. A future version of me could travel back to this timeline and go “if you don’t put this pile of clothes away, the very fabric of the space time continuum could tear and implode within itself.”

And I’d still be like “Obviously since you’re me from the future and you saw that shit happen, just right our wrongs and you put my clothes away yourself!”

Then future me would be like “ehhh I just can’t really bring myself to put laundry away, it’s too much work I mean, I know about the apocalypse and that I gotta tend to my own garden n stuff but-“

And I’d be like “ikr!! That’s what I’m saying!!”

Then we’d probably hang out and when the apocalypse unfolds (no pun intended) instead of putting the clothes away, we’ll probably see if we can convince past me together again.

Maybe the apocalypse won’t be brought on by nuclear war, maybe it’d somehow turn out to be a product of domestic laziness.