There’s been a new phenomenon sweeping the nation and it’s led to some serious civil unrest. Even scientists are baffled by this new wave and yet are definitely baffled by how it’s unfolding. Due to these unprecedented events, one way international flights have skyrocketed, the mortality rate has increased and there’s been a significant uptick in dog park segregation. Chihuahuas have begun to speak English thus making them the 2nd most annoying thing to listen to, right after New Yorkers discussing their pizza.

Even the dog community has weighed in on the recent events with multiple dogs using their buttons to speak out. One famous golden retriever went viral after being shown a video of a talking chuahaha and pressing the “danger, bad dog, danger, bad dog” repeatedly. It seems the dog community is very concerned about us due to these recent happenings.

In loosely related news the movie studios responsible for producing Beverly Hills chuahaha is being sued for “insighting violence” in light of the recent events. It has led also to a plummit in George Lopez approval ratings and many speculating that this movie was the genesis of this chihuahua speaking crisis. More news on Chihuahuas v the state of California is pending.

An odd series of events have been sparked following these happenings. Bird migration patterns have changed even. “They’re probably trying to fly in a different direction to avoid all that damn yapping” stated a Californian resident. “I mean really, out of all dogs to have learned how to speak, THESE ONES are first? My German Shepard can learn to use buttons, open doors, sniff out a bomb and he can’t even say hello! Meanwhile these flying rats are cat calling rodents and ordering at cash registers.”

“I can’t even let my children walk to school alone anymore, my kid came home and told me a shaky chihuahua followed him home the other day and kept him for ‘something to take the edge off,’ this is starting to really worry me. No Chihuahuas have complied with our anti profanity policies so no first hand reports have been given.